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| HOOLIGANS VANDALISE HORSE! |
Ladbrooks are giving odds of a million to one that the police will catch the culprits. The Chief Constable has verified that the horse is a police horse known as 'Bobby'. Mr. Ed and Shergar are among the witnesses being questioned by the police. The police suspect that disgruntled students may be responsible for this act of cruelty and vandalism. The President of the Students Union said that he was "too stoned to do an interview right now.....call me back tomorrow". Last night Downing Street sources said that the Prime Minister was "disgusted and sickened" by what had occurred. Buckingham Palace confirmed that Prince Philip's whereabouts are unknown.
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